THE MOST MUSCULAR BARBARIC BONE EATING BATTLE!
by fatalnegativ3
Summary: THIS IS A TOTALLY AWESOME BATTLE BETWEEN XANTOR TRUEHERO AND GOLRATH BONEATER THE BARBARIANS THEY ARE TOTALLY BAD ASS AND BARbARIC IF U DONT READ THIS U LL BE POKED IN THE EYE BY A NINJA!!!!!!!!!!


On a peaceful day in Norrath, two thevious, devious, and most of all, sirry playars wandered around in the darkness of EC tunnel, planning their ambush on the most popular merchant of the seven norrathian seas, the Shady Swashbucklar! Elrae whispers, "hey Quea, when i tell u snare that dude 500 times then i ll dot the shizbunglar out of him if we get lucky he ll die in a couple of days!". "Alright, cool dude my ranger skillz is the leet i promise i wont die in 5 minutes!" replied Quea excitedly. After Elrae got a kei from bazaar and gated back, Quea went to agro the guy, using all the taunt skilz a ranger has, "HEY U BIG GALOOF U LOOK DUM!!!!!!!@!!! U R! U R! UR UR UR!" Quea shouted while jumping around like a monkey, no need to say, the merchant guy got pretty pissed off at the annoying little bugger and decided he would punish him for his sirry actions, suddenly this message appeared on his screen: "You have been ensnared"!! "GOD EVER SINCE VERANT NERFED NPC RESIST I ALWAYS GET SNARED I HATE THEM WTF AsholeS @!. The shady swashbuckler shouted toward the sky where the mighty SOE developers live. During this time Quea pulled out his bow and started doing mad dmg for even more hate: "10dmg, 11dmg, Crit!(21) 21 dmg, 9dmg" "Man i'm doing pretty good said Quea in group. Elrae's like "I gotta go eat dude later". "Wtf i already agroed him wait", "it's cool brb", Elrae has left the group. 1 hour later... Quea gets a tell, "hey i'm back where u", Quea replies "God u fatass cat i been kiting him around in circles my sow wore off 5 times hurry. Elrae comes to where Quea is getting the shiz chased out of him by the Shady and cast a dot on him, to both of their surprise Shady instantly turns toward Elrae despite the uber agro Quea has planted on him for the past hour. Big streams of tears were shooting sideways out of Elrae's face like some anime chibi being beaten on, "OROROoo this proves rangers cant hold agro we need Xabiel!!" Elrae screamed while ran around, fortunately for him the shady is still snared due to his negative 500 magic resist verant gave the shady or surely Elrae would have been pounded into a bowl of meow mix by now. After a couple more hours of cheap kiting from the two the Shady was brought down to 51%, suddenly the ceilings started to rumble and the tunnel was consumed by a giant earthquake, only a few second later a huge black barbaric figure broke a huge hole through the roof of the tunnel and crushed the shady with extreme preciseness into a fine bloody mist at 51%, ksing the kill Elrae and Quea has put a few hours into. First they were stunned at the glorious yet barbaric nature of the entrance of this player, followed immediately afterwards are the outrage of the two when they realized their hardwork has been demolished by a single stomp of this guy. Quea instantly jumped behind him and started throwing random insults to express his anger, "Dude WTF are u doing that was our kill u nazi u took our kill we are sooo petitioning u then ur gona get banned then we are gona see how tough u are omg ur rl must sux when u have to ks ppl like us god y do u even live go commit seppuku with a frisbee hmmph!" This figure stood motionless as a statue for a second, his gigantic muscles glittered by the little light the torches provided in the EC tunnel, then he spoke with a EXTREMELY musuclar voice, one that shook the walls and made the ground tremble: " WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY YOU LITTLE PIPSQUEAK?!" He turned around, where he stood were two footprints engraved into solid concrete, Quea looks down and shivered, hell anyone would shiver at the sight of those footprints, he must of wore size 26 boots! Then Quea and Elrae both slowly looked up from his foot to his face, the muscular, barbaric face they saw reminded them of a certain doom that is sure to befall them in the near future, the two shouted in the zone: " GOLRATH THE BARBARIAN!!" Soon the zone chat filled with horrified screams and confused questions. "Golrath?? Who's that?? that name sounds so evil yet barbaric!", "He's the most savage barbarian ever born on Earth and he is as evil as he is muscular!", "RUN FOR YOUR BONES!!". Back in the tunnel, Golrath picked up Quea by his arm and swung him around and then into a nearby wall, engraving the outline of Quea into it. Then he starts advancing toward the almost unconscious ranger, ready to eat his bones right up! Just before his large and burly Golrathian hands reached Quea, a super roxor voice that sounds like from the tribunals themselves, but alot more muscular and barbaric spoke up, "Golrath! lay your foul hands off that half elf!" Golrath turn around, only to see, dung dung dung! " XANToR the BarbARIAN!!!@!!@#$!" Xantor Truehero is known as the "coolest" barbarian in halas, and by cool, I mean totally sweet, he would save many lives without thinking twice about it. Golrath pulls his truck sized axes from his back, "Xantor, you are always in my way!". Xantor follows up by unsheathing his sword, which is totally unproportionally large to his body, and anything unproportionally large compared to Xantor's xantoric, muscular muscles, you know what kinda big i'm talking about here. "Golrath, today I'll send you to the tribunals with this sword!" "SHUT UP!" Golrath starts to sprint toward Xantor, the earth shakes with each of his step, Xantor goes into his sword stance, waiting for the arrival of the axe of Golrath. Golrath arrives right before Xantor, then he jumps high into the air, crashing through the ceiling of the tunnel, all the way out of the mountains, then when he came down his landing made another hole into the mountain, the roof on top of Xantor's head suddenly exploded into rubble and dust, but Xantor already saw what was coming behind the smokescreen, two very, very large Golrathian axes, CHING! First the sound wave traveled through the tunnel, almost making anyone non-barbarian deaf with it's extremely sharp frequency, then afterwards came the shockwave, causing the walls of the tunnel to shatter into a million little pieces of sharp stones, at this point anyone beside Xantor and Golrath still inside the tunnel was shredded to pieces by the two disastrous aftermaths caused by the first clash of Xantor and Golrath's weapons, the place was smeared with flesh and blood, and BONES. At this point Xantor and Golrath are still testing their strength, parrying each other's first attack, neither backing down the slightest bit, then as if agreed beforehand, they snapped back and then ran in the same direction while facing each other with their weapons drawn, when they reached the wall, they did not stop, but merely busted into the walls as if it was air, seconds later the denizens of EC saw two gigantic figures jump high into the air from two newly formed holes in the EC mountain. "Woah check those out i didn't know verant added two new tunnels to EC". "Those tunnels are very strange, they are in the outlines of two barbarians!". Then they heard loud metallical clashing sounds in the high air above, the two barbarians crashed into one another high above the ground again and again, each time they meet the land below them spread out a water like ripple outwards and the trees pulled a bit further out of the ground away from the direction of the battle. "YAHHHH! Xantor today I'll make sure you'll never get in my way again!" Golrath shouted as he slashed at Xantor, Xantor riposited his attack and retorted against the threat of Golrath, "I shall rid of the land another evil doer today!", then they both dropped to the ground, each creating a giant hole in the ground as if two meteors just landed. They stared at each other for a few seconds, sizing each other up, then they rushed toward each other again and they battled, this battle created great amount of inconvenience for the players in the zone. People who just zoned in to freeport got blown right back into the zoneline, newbs were terrified as they watched waves of fire beetles and large rats blown at them by unidentified winds(but we really know where this is coming from!). One player was lost in the desert, just as he was about to come out he was blown right back in, and if wasn't bad enough the shockwaves from the battle caused a sandstorm in the desert area, needless to say the guy died. HAHAHHAHA. Now, back to the battle, Xantor slashed down at Golrath, however missing him, creating a gigantic scar about the size of a football field in the ground in the middle of EC. Golrath rolled behind Xantor, then he stretches both his arms sideways, Xantor knows something's coming, but he doesn't know what. Then, Golrath lets out a tremendous barbarian war cry, " YAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" a flash followed, not even I, the narrator, was able to see what happened. When the my eyes gained back it's normal vision, Xantor was standing there, with his sword held diagonally across his chest, and Golrath was weaponless. They stood still for a bit, then Golrath said, "Shit, I missed". Then a sharp sound ensued, the top half of Xantor's sword slowly slipped off the lower half, and so did the mountain behind Xantor. Golrath's flying axe technique cut the EC mountain in half! omg. With a loud thud the top half of Xantor's fell to the ground, and at the same time, the top half of EC mountain rolled over, creating a gigantic avalanche, crushing everyone near the desert area. Xantor throws the other half of his sword on the ground, "Golrath, with these fists you shall be ownt!!", "Yeah right Xantor my hand to hand skills are much more barbaric than yours!" Golrath disappeared and suddenly reappeared behind Xantor, he puts Xantor into a stranglehold, but Xantor is too good for that, he breaks out of it easily with the \f1\fs24 Blessed Toe of the Savage Goddesses, but Golrath saw that coming a mile away, and counterattacks with War Hammer of the One Million Religious Kings! "Where did you learn that skill??" Xantor asked in amazement. "At the halas monk guild, ofcourse!". "There's no monk guilds in halas!" retorted Xantor. "Ha! You are smarter than you look, Xantor!" replied Golrath. Xantor smirked, then he jumped high into the air, "TRY THIS ONE ON FOR SIZE BIAAATTTCCCH!!!!!@!" Then Xantor did a double spin in air, horizontally and veritcally at the same time, unleashing Nineteen Confident Cats Noose of Straight Romances. Golrath is like What the hell is that, and he fights back with Pig's Uppercut of the Perfect Fear. Their fists and foot crashed into each other with great power, their techniques are even! Now Xantor's power bar is maxed out at level 3, he does a super desperation of Eighteen Barbarians Clutch of Mighty Mysteries, Golrath sees there's no way to block such a powerful attack, so his only chance is to counterattack with his own level 3 super desperation! However, his power bar is a pixel from being full at this time, he sees a passby halfling and rips him in half and eats his spinal cord, gaining the last of the power he needs, and milliseconds before he was mutilated by Xantor's depseration, he executes Torture of the Sixty Lonely Boars! The powerful clash of their desperation created a ripple in time, causing them to be teleported into 2003 A.D., after the light fades, Xantor and Golrath is in the middle of Chapel Hill, what will ensue? To be continued... 


End file.
